See about 8 years ago when Melissa and I moved back to NJ and into our place in Belleville I went out to Staples and bought a nice and comfy chair for our computer desk. Its black cloth and pivots all the way back. I don't know how many times I sat in that chair with my kids in my lap rocking them to sleep. That chair was where I would sit as I sat at the computer and uploaded thousands of pictures and videos of the kids onto websites and emails to share with all of you. Because our old apartment was a little on the cramped side, that was the chair I sat in for countless meals as me and Wifey huddled in our bedroom after putting the kids to bed. Lots of good memories!
About 5 years ago my poor chair hit a rough patch. One of the arms broke right where it comes to a right angle at the seat. If you have kids then you know what its like watching one of them take a bad fall and holding your breath for a second to see if they're gonna bounce right up or if you have to go running over to kiss away some ouchies. Well my chair didn't get right back up. It took 2 long screws inserted from the bottom beam into the arm to keep it together. And from that moment on Franken-Chair was born.
Franken-Chair held up like a champ after that first break. I was able to still bounce the kids around and enjoy a nice chicken parm sub while watching late night TV. I knew he was living on borrowed time so I treasured each and every chance I had to sit on him. About 2 years after the first incident, the other arm went. I'd gone through this before so knew what to expect...but that didn't make it any easier. 2 more screws in the other arm and we were back in business, except now I was a little more careful. After a few days and weeks went by I tried pretending that they weren't there, but the you could still see the screws. I just wasn't sure how much time was left.
I was amazed that Franken-Chair actually made it to see our new home. Last August he was one of the first pieces of furniture in our new home (I may be making that part up, but it sounds better like that I think). He wasn't as bouncy as when I first bought him, but he was there and he was giving it all he had. Unfortunately so was I. About 2 weeks ago I was at my desk making updates to this very website when tragedy struck us for the third time. This 1 looked like the end of the road for our hero.
This time Franken-Chair broke in 2 places at the same time. The arm broke where it comes down to a right angle and then again in the middle of the bottom beam. I was home alone when it happened. I was beside myself. The break had actually left me lying on the floor...in tears. I felt like it was all my fault. Maybe if I'd stopped rocking so much, or gave Franken-Chair a check-up every now and then. I guess it wouldn't hurt if I actually stuck to my diet, but this isn't about me this is about the chair dammit!!
When I told Wifey what had happened she told me it was time to let go and find another chair. I knew she was right, but just couldn't do it alone. Later that day I picked up the kids from school and we went to Staples to find Franken-Chairs replacement. They sat in countless chairs and spun around and around until they almost vomitted. They were screaming and laughing and having a great time, but not me. I was just checking the price tags to see what I could get for under $100. I know that's how Franken-Chair would have wanted it.
Well we found a chair and brought it home and after a surprisingly easy assembly we had our new chair. He's warm and cozy and has a fresh spring in his bounce...but its just not the same. I know I should have put Franken-Chair down in the basement instead of letting him sit there watching us - on the floor all broken up. But he was still a part of this family and I knew he'd be happy for us. I knew he'd want us to move on, even if we weren't ready.
A few days later I was walking down the aisles of the local Home Depot looking for wood screws for another project I was working on when I saw something that made my heart jump. Joint Plates! Joint plates are basically small, flat pieces of metal that have a bunch of holes in both sides. This allows you to screw it into 2 different pieces of wood or other material to hold them together. I knew that this was what was gonna help me give Franken-Chair another chance at the life he was always meant to have. I was so excited when I got home and got my drill ready to make the first incision. The operation was a success and I was able to have a nice sit in Franken-Chair once more. It felt like coming home after a long absence.
Unfortunately Wifey didn't see it that way. To her Franken-Chair was a hideous sight and he was exiled to the basement. I gave him a nice spot next to our luggage and my golf clubs, and I sneak down to see him at least once a day...but its just not the same. I miss you Franken-Chair!
Let me just go on the record now as saying that I don't mind throwing things out when they're broken, but I don't see the point in getting rid of something and going out and buying a new one if the old one can still be fixed. I'm not cheap, just practical. Yeah, OK, so maybe I'm a little cheap, but don't I get a little wiggle room here because I'm out of work and all.